Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb

In Ukraine, when you need a taxi you send an SMS or call the company to request one versus going out to the street and waving one down. I sent a SMS message to my normal company requesting a taxi to the Embassy this morning in order to go shopping at the Commissary and was told the taxi would be at my flat in 12 minutes, etc. When the taxi pulled into my street, I knew something was up. There were two men in the front seat versus just the driver. The passenger jumped out asking for directions half way down the street so that was the first clue that this was not going to be an ordinary ride.

I happen to live in a pretty well known area and the US Embassy is not that hard to find so it shouldn't have been so difficult for this man or his co-pilot to navigate the streets or read the map. We finally got out of my street back to the main street heading the right direction towards the Embassy but all of a sudden he turns around and begins driving the opposite direction. Of course, alarm bells go off in my head since I knew I should have turned down the taxi and called to get a different one since there were two people but thought what the hell......I understood from the conversation the men were having that they were lost and had no clue where they were going. I told them in my "wonderful" Russian that they were going the wrong direction and then I called my office guards to have them tell them the address since I didn't know the exact address but the direction, etc. We finally got there but it was a journey and if I was a cat I would have been down to 7 lives at that point. I instructed the driver and friend to wait while I shopped.

The commissary was full of shoppers that are in Kyiv on TDY and they were filling their baskets full and it felt like eternity had passed and started again if possible. I finally finished my shopping and dreaded getting back in the car with Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb. Again, the adventure began but this time much worse! We started off going the right direction but he turned on the street that made him go one direction that was the opposite direction of my flat and we ended up driving for an additional 30 minutes before he was able to turn around and then we ended up taking streets in neighborhoods I never had been in. Thank God I didn't buy ice cream! All my groceries were defrosted by the time I did get home. Maybe they were sweating as much as I was with fear due to the horrible driving! Again, if I were a cat I would be down to 3 lives by the point we arrived to my flat. Drivers were honking and having to dodge our car due to how horrible the taxi driver was driving. Next time, I will take my cart and take the bus!